


You mean the world to me

by ironicallyrad



Category: Phan, Phandom
Genre: Best Friends, Fluff, Kisses, M/M, Slow Dancing, and then romantic relationship, dan is such a stupid flirt lmao, dumb, romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 20:53:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1955778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironicallyrad/pseuds/ironicallyrad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is having his late night thoughts but tonight it's different. He is proud of himself for everything he's accomplished and specially thankful to have phil in his life</p>
            </blockquote>





	You mean the world to me

It’s moments like these where I wonder how the hell I even got here. How in the world did I manage to get this much feeling of bliss inside my chest. Is everything perfect? No, but I can think of a million reasons why it’s definitely not the worst thing ever either. I sound like a sap. I always do past 4am, but thank God for him, Phil’s usually asleep at that time. Not today though. Today he is sitting on the couch across from me, half lidded eyes glaring at his computer screen, which is what I was doing a few minutes ago, before all these thoughts started swimming through my head. It’s nothing new, I’m used to them. I think a lot. Usually about how insignificant humanity is in the scope of the entire universe, or how life and everything that I’ve built in mine, is temporary, and because death is inevitable, will one day be completely destroyed and forgotten, but today my mind seems to be swimming with more positive thoughts for once. I don’t think much about this, because it still baffles me, but sometimes I can’t help feeling proud of myself and what I’ve accomplished. And Phil too. Phil and I have accomplished so much together and damn, a few years ago we were just stupid teenagers spending way too much time skyping for our own good. I’m not a narcissist, or a conceded brat, but I really am proud of myself. There’s nothing wrong with that. I wish people would admit to being proud of themselves more often, but nowadays it’s like it’s a crime to feel any sort of positive feeling towards yourself.

“You look like you have a lot on your mind,” Phil’s loud voice rings in my ears, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah, just thinking,” I shrug.

“Care to share?”

“I’m just happy.”

Phil chuckles, setting his laptop down and walking over to sit next to me. “Wow, that’s a first. What’s going on in that little head of yours?”

“I’m just thinking of all the things I’ve actually managed to do with my dumb life, and hey. It’s actually not that bad, and I’m content with the place I’m at right now. Although I’m still excited for the future, of course, but for now, everything is pretty damn reasonable.”

Phil smiles, facing me and propping himself up on his elbow. “About time you say that.”

“What do you mean?”

He shrugs. “You’re always going on about how nothing matters and everyone is going to die, and it’s honestly really depressing seeing you like that. A change in what comes out of your mouth at 4am is nice.”

I laugh and playfully shove him, which makes him stick tongue out and let out gleeful puffs of air.

“You know I owe most of it to you.”

“Oh shut up, Dan.”

“Really! You’re my best friend, and without you I would be nowhere near where I am right now. I mean, I would’ve probably still given youtube a try, but it wouldn’t be the same. I also wouldn’t have a radio, which you bet in 2009 would’ve sounded like the most absurd, scariest thing ever. I was also pretty depressed and hard on myself back then. I still am to some extent, obviously, those things don’t just go away, but you helped me pull through it. And I know I’ve already been cheesy enough and probably told you a million times that I’m grateful, but I really am. I’m really grateful, Phil. You’ve opened doors for me, and have helped me realize and accept things about myself that I would never realize or accept in a billion years.”

Phil puts his arm around my shoulders, giving them a slight squeeze before pulling away. “I know it’s the middle of the night and everything is overwhelming right now, and don’t get me wrong, I’m so honored to have helped you this much, but I think you’re not giving yourself credit enough. You were the one who came out of your shell. I might have nudged and encouraged you a bit, but you did it by yourself. And don’t forget without you, I wouldn’t have a radio show either. It goes both ways. You gained a best friend, and so did I. We both benefit from our friendship, it’s not just a one sided thing.”

We both look at each other, sympathetic smiles and shallow breaths between us. Fuck, I am so lucky. 

“Thank you, Phil.”

Phil lifts one of his slender fingers up and touches the bridge of my nose.

“We’re being so cliché, this is gross,” I say, scrunching my nose.

“Sometimes cliché is needed. And I’m feeling pretty sappy right now too, so it’s okay,” he grins, taking my hand in his and tucking me up.

“Why are you making me stand up?” I ask, putting my laptop down and following him to the middle of the lounge. 

He pulls me to his chest and rests his head on the crook of my neck, wrapping one arm loosely around my waist, and holding my hand up with his other hand. We  slowly sway from side to side, our bodies pressed together, our feet moving lazily across the floor, both of our eyes closed, enjoying the silence.

“Are we really slow dancing in the dark at 4am with no music?” I murmur, feeling my lips brush against his neck.

“I don’t see why not. You have a problem with it?”

I nuzzle my nose against his shoulder and shake my head. “No.”

I feel his lips curl up against my neck and then he’s planting soft kisses under my jawline, which earns a satisfied sigh from me.

“You’re really beautiful, you know that?”

I snort, burying my face further into the crook of his neck. “Oh, shut up you big dingus. Who’s the sap now?”

“I told you I was feeling pretty sappy myself.”

“I haven’t showered today,” I smirk as I kiss the side of his head.

“You still look beautiful.” He leans into the soft kisses I’m planting around his temple. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” he says as he wraps both of his arms around my back.

“You’re pretty nifty yourself.”

He chuckles. “Nifty? Really?”

“Fine, fine, okay. You are breathtakingly gorgeous,” he grabs the back of my shirt into a fist and smiles, encouraging me to continue “Sometimes I just look at you and think damn, he is so handsome.” I grab the sides of his head and kiss his forehead. “You’re always so bright. You’re always so stunning. You’re always my ray of sunshine, every single day. You’re a dream come true, and I never want to wake up.”

Phil brings his hands up to cover his face. “Stop it,” he whines. I look down at him and smile. His fringe is now draping over his pale fingers, and all I want to do is kiss them. So I do. “Why do you want me to stop?”

“Because you’re making me blush really hard and we’ve been together for roughly 5 years and you can still make me blush and this is so annoying I don’t want to blush I look like an anime school girl.”

I grin, beaming with pride as I pry his hands away from his face so I can look into his eyes. “Good.”

His eyebrows knit together when he realizes I can now see his reddened cheeks. I kiss between them and slowly move down to the bridge of his nose where I repeatedly plant quick, feathery kisses. I like seeing Phil flustered like this. It doesn’t happen much, since we’ve been in this relationship for so long and all there is romantic to say, we’ve probably already said to each other, but sometimes I strike a chord that makes him a flushed, stuttering mess. 

“You’re the prettiest, most beautiful, rarest flower I’ve ever seen. I promise to constantly water you and keep you in a well ventilated place.”

He pouts. “You’re dumb and that flower metaphor was the lamest thing I’ve ever heard.” But he’s blushing. He’s looking down and twiddling with the hem of his shirt and he is blushing.

I tilt my head down so we’re at the same eye level and let our noses touch. I smile cheekily and start mocking him. “You’re a pretty flower, you’re the cutest flower, you’re my beautiful flower-”

He groans, but a small smile eventually finds its way to his lips. I pull him towards me by gently tugging on his belt loops and close the space between us. I laugh as I link our lips, shoulders going up and down as I try to keep myself together, which just ends up in him laughing too.

He pulls back slightly. “Dan, you’re so gross.”

I smile, humming against his lips as I inhale sharply and deepen the kiss. 

It’s dumb. We’re dumb. It’s past 4am and in the midst of everything going on in the universe, two guys are holding onto each other for their dear lives in the middle of a dark room, happy to be sharing such an insignificant moment together. It’s dumb. I’m happy. It’s late and I’m sharing meaningless kisses with Phil and my chest aches with love and I’ve never been happier.


End file.
